Jedi Punk Riz-ock

Name: Miss Emily, aka Punk Rock

Age: 25-34

Title: Jedi of Sass

Wisdom: 16 (+4 Pop Music/Boy Band Knowledge)

Jedi Master: Daddy Ken Wyman

Birthplace: Buffalo, NY

It was clear from birth that Jedi Punk Rock's startling beauty, dizzying intellect, and abnormally large feet foretold a great destiny. Her training began early in the Granite State of New Hampshire, where a childhood fascination with KISS led her to firmly embrace The Rock both literally and spiritually. By age 18, she was prepared to face her first great challenge in Ithaca, where she and her companions would fight long and hard against the powerful Empire of College Radio Programming.

As her time in Ithaca grew short, Punk Rock feared the dark forces of Twee College Music would seduce the simple people of her beloved town. Many were the arduous nights she was tortured by the ceaseless strumming of acoustic guitars, and she felt The Rock slipping from her soul. In desperation, she sought out the Jedi Council, then convening at the New York Hilton. After failing to impress legendary Jedi knights Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley with her wit and knowledge of their oeuvre, Punk Rock found herself in the presence of her own true spiritual master, Jedi Dee Snider. As Mister Sister himself embraced her and commanded her to "keep rockin'", she felt the power of The Rock within. With renewed vigor, she and the other Elders moved onward to the City of New York to kick ass in the dreaded Battle of Gainful Employment, leaving Kluv and the younger Jedi to protect their adopted upstate home.

Today, Jedi Punk Rock's lucrative career in nonprofit arts administration hides her ultimate quest: to find and wed her true love and soulmate Sebastian Bach, or at least acquire the "Get off My Dick" shirt he wore on Skid Row's 1989 tour (for which she will pay many cash dollars, American). Although she agrees with Murphy's Law that "Astoria Queens rules", she now resides in the even more bitchin' borough of Brooklyn where she plans to live free or die.

Jedi Punk Rock knows in her heart that the world would be a better place if only all men would wear leather pants.

Or chaps. Chaps are good too.

Authors: MFK Fisher, Hornby, Coupland, Chabon, Kingsolver	Band: Beastie Boys (always and 4-evah), Amazing Crowns, Johnny Cash, Lyle, Brown Lazer	Beer: Utica Club
Book: High Fidelity, The Gastronomical Me	Enemies: Any who doubt her Powers or claim to be prettier than she is; Dark Network Programming Overlords (see below)	Food: All sea creatures but especially Fishsticks
Games: As a lady of the female persuasion, Jedi Punk Rock excels at Mind Games	Movies: Terminator, Revenge of the Nerds, Spinal Tap, Trust, Hands on a Hardbody	Star Wars Character: Lovable rogue Han Solo
Teams: Boston Red Sox, NE Patriots, the pink team	TV: Power Wednesday, Dawson and West Wing. In defense of her beloved Creek, Jedi Punk Rock no longer associates with vile betrayers of her trust Jedis Sperm and China. Where once there was love and mutual admiration of AC/DC, now there is only disgust and sorrow at the Mutinous Midseason Shift of their "Ed" to the sacred Dawson time slot.	Wrestler: Jedi Punk Rock would like to experience both single and tag team action with delicious slab of Canadian bacon Edge and/or hunky Christian.